Chapter One: Day One – Tale of the sea, the surf & the queasy Scotsman
The intro to sea kayaking weekend arrived and I set off on the Friday night for Anglesey. Arriving in the dark I eventually managed to find Richard and Fraser (Although he was already tucked up in bed, which was a shame because we’d been told it would be quite the show watching him erect his tent). Luckily the downpour had just stopped so I could get my tent up. The Aldridge’s arrived shortly after and we realised Ian was still nowhere to be seen. I messaged him and he responded he was in fact somewhere in the campsite but had no idea where, as he also had arrived in the dark. So the whole gang was there ready for a sea voyage!

Several Zzz’s later…
Saturday morning everyone was up (way too early in my opinion). After some breakfast and final checks by Martin (on his special maps which are for your eyes not your hands!) sea conditions were looking good. It was a nice sunny day and we were all excited!
Everyone apart from Ian and I had their own boats so we booked some rental kayaks from a local shop. We got as ready as we could then headed to pick them up. Back at the campsite we finished getting ready, grabbing the important things like lunch. It was a short walk from the campsite to the beach with the boats on trolleys we all started trundling down.
At the beach we had a briefing and a plan set out for the day. Martin contacted the coast guard to warn them we’d be let loose presently. With that we were excited and ready to go. Getting on the water, it was calm in the sheltered bay and we started to get used to the boats and edging the wrong way to turn! After going in circles for a bit to practice turning (and a quick refreshing T rescue for me) we were ready to venture out of the bay.
Exiting the bay, the sea was quite a bit choppier, at this point Ian felt uncomfortable and requested he spend some more time to warm up in the bay. Nicky and Ian remained there while Martin, Richard, Fraser and I took a little explore along the coast. Martin said it was sea state 3 which was a little higher than an introduction course would perhaps venture out on usually which meant there wasn’t much rock hopping to be done. We ventured into some enclaves cut out of the coast line which was very nerve racking but exciting. I did have a sense of an impending crash into the rock face by being carried on a wave, however the sea kayaks glided through the water/waves and I felt in control and not at the mercy of wherever the wave wanted me to go as I’d thought.
We went a little way then turned back to see if Ian had found his sea legs and was ready to join us. When we got back however Ian had decided to call it a day, as he was having difficulty disconnecting his upper and lower body on the swell. We were all disappointed for him but he used the experience positively and said he knew what to focus on to improve.
It was getting on for 12 so we had some lunch then left Ian relaxing on the beach and the remaining five of us vacated the calm comfort of the bay once again. As we went along further this time, exploring as we went Fraser started to become sea sick and eventually called it a day as it became unenjoyable constantly feeling sick. He got out at a beach and walked back along to join Ian. The four of us now continued (me feeling very safe having three experienced sea kayakers looking after me) eventually coming to a large stretch of beach. We paused here and I was asked what I wanted to do next as I was the only rookie left. In the distance I could see some other sea kayakers surfing the waves on the beach and I fancied a go at that! We played on the waves for a while and I managed to catch a few decent ones until a huge wave broke on top of me and sent me tumbling and subsequently swimming. I dragged myself and boat onto the shore but with a big smile on my face.
After a little rest we all set off homeward bound (or at least the campsite). The wind had picked up and the sea state was now more like 4, but a “friendly 4” said Martin. To me however the waves looked huge and I swear we were practically going up the waves vertically at one point! But I wasn’t worried as I had my Tri Factor Lifesaving Safety System a.k.a. Martin, Nikki and Richard. Up and down, up and down, all the way back to the beach. Ian and Fraser had gone back to the campsite and had an explore. To their delight they found a rock with mobile signal dubbed ‘4G Rock’ which was good news because Fraser was desperate to tend to his crops on Farmville.
We returned Ian’s boat to the shop and he headed home. The rest of us, tired but pleased with the days paddling, showered and headed out for some food.
The weather was looking to get worse on the Sunday so it was decided we’d paddle the Menai Strait. Martin told tale of the currents running very fast at certain times of day so we were excited to see it and ride the flow.

Chapter Two: Day Two – The sausage debacle, The readjusted expectations & The inverted paddle
Next morning I was awoken by the unmistakable chortle of Martin Aldridge. The previous day I had seen a poster advertising sausage sandwiches in the men’s room (I was a little suspicious it being placed where it was) but I told the others and at the allotted time we went to get some… only to find that this was no longer the case! Dismayed Nicki dropped to her knees exclaiming ‘Nooooooooo!!’ Martin suggested we go to the local town on the way in search of a hot breakfast. We packed up and shipped out. Alas there was to be no hot breakfast that day. Putting the ordeal behind us we parked up, kitted up and dropped a car at a location down in the direction of flow in case we couldn’t get back up for whatever reason.
We got on and took a paddle south-westerly under the two bridges. Martin told us the flow would start shortly and we could ride it back down. It was at this point Fraser pointed out I had my paddle upside down… embarrassing! We went round a house on an island with a fish trap, which coincidently was featured on Country File that week. As it got into full flow we realised actually it wasn’t going that fast at all which was due to the time of year. We felt lied to and I heard Fraser exasperatedly shout “Keep the heid!”. We had built our hopes up of a speedy flow ride in a north-easterly fashion. We decided to adjust our expectations and enjoy the rest of the day in spite of it.
After a little ride down the flow we played on some little waves and then stopped for some lunch. Feeling refreshed we set off again back into the flow, dodging speed boats and yachts as we went. Some way further along we turned around and headed back to the carpark. At this point the wind had picked up and was blowing against us which made it a bit of a slog getting back however back we got. After changing and bidding farewell to everyone I dropped my boat back and headed home.
I had a great time and it was definitely a good introduction to sea kayaking. Hopefully I will be able to get out there again!
Thank you Martin, Nikki and Richard for the coaching and looking after me and thank you all for great company.
I’d like to end with this which seemed apt:
“The sea, the snotgreen sea, the scrotumtightening sea.”
― James Joyce, Ulysses

Rob Newitt